On a scale of 1-10...

Where does your mental health sit on your list of priorities, right now?

Maybe it’s 10… 

And you make a conscious effort to nurture your noggin.

Perhaps it’s 5… 

And you dip in and out, with the odd mantra and meditation.

Or maybe it’s 1… 

And it’s sitting beneath an ever-growing pile of paperwork or pots.

...

I’m going to assume that you, my beautiful reader, are pregnant, and I wonder where on the scale you find yourself placing your own mental health needs, above the needs of your baby?

• If this is your first pregnancy, you may be feeling quite overwhelmed with the unfamiliar physical and emotional symptoms you are experiencing. And I ask you, can you remember the last time you didn’t think about being pregnant!?
• Maybe this is a second or third pregnancy, and you’re adding to a family who you care for and who depend on you. 
• Perhaps you’re expecting a rainbow sibling to an angel baby(ies). 
• It could be you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant at all… 
• Or maybe this pregnancy something you’ve wanted for a long, long time…

How ever you're feeling and whatever your circumstance, as a pregnant woman the pressure to do the right thing by your baby can be both exciting, empowering, and also overwhelming, maybe even a little lonely. 

Your list of things to buy, eat and not eat, decorate and assemble is endless! And before you know it, you have forgotten about one of the most important parts of a healthy and happy, pregnant lifestyle… You. 

Now, I don’t want to add to your list of things detailed on your spreadsheet or iPhone notes… but I am going to remind you of some reasons to make a conscious effort to prioritise your mental health throughout pregnancy: 

• Your emotional and physical wellbeing : I’ll say it again, you matter too in this pregnancy, and it is possible to feel relaxed and enjoy it (maybe after post morning sickness stages...) Stress, anxiety, and depression during pregnancy can increase your risk of developing physical health issues such as high blood pressure, a weakened immune function and poor sleep. 
  • Relaxation practices and positive and productive pregnancy and birth preparation, and reaching out for support (see links below) can improve your mental health, supporting your overall well-being and health during your pregnancy, and beyond.
    
     
• Baby’s development: If you experience high levels of stress during your pregnancy, research suggests* that it could influence the development of your babies brain, which could lead to them experiencing emotional or behavioural challenges later in life. So, reduce that to do list, and I don’t mean by getting it done! Try:
  • Really assessing how important something is, and being realistic with yourself. What will happen if it doesn’t get done? And can you realistically do this before you give birth? If your answers are ‘Nothing, and no…” try to let it go… 
  • Remove the “need to do” things from your list and add some “want to do” things. Spend time with loved ones, doing things you enjoy and make you happy. These don’t need to be huge, they can be walks, date nights in or out, baths, exercise, baking, listening to music, watching and listening to things that make you laugh, a purposeful lie in, meditation… Hypnobirthing 😉😉
  • Asking someone for help. Sure, they may not do it the way you do, and you may feel like a burden but, ask yourself this – When someone asks you to help them, what is your immediate response? People love to help people, especially pregnant ones!  
  • Remembering that you will have time to do stuff, after your baby arrives. Even if your baby arrives quicker than expected…
    • You can order pretty much anything on Amazon for next day delivery! Including car seats and next to me cribs…
    • Your baby may be sleeping in your room for 7-9 months, so you’ll have time to get their room ready. (Francesca's was just ready the day before she moved in…8 months old!)
    • You can buy healthy (and unhealthy!) ready meals whilst you get back into cooking, if you haven’t had time to batch cook!
       
  • It’s just a job… This is a tough one, you may want to return to your current job, you may well run your own business. Either way, the idea of being off for a long period of time can be quite overwhelming. I stressed a lot about my handover, and the only thing I kept reminding myself of, was "I can’t control what is happening when when I'm not there'. Just do your best, trust me, 
    • It is absolutely good enough, 
    • They will miss you when you are gone, and 
    • Your career will be there waiting for you (if you want it to be) 
       
• Improves your pregnancy and birth experience: Whilst there are many valid reasons to feel anxious about pregnancy and birth, anxiety and low mood can actually increase the chances of you needing medical support and intervention when giving birth. Focusing on your mental health and promoting a stable mental-state can stack the odds in your favour of a more controlled and more enjoyable pregnancy and birth experience. So, it is important to
  • Prioritise time to do things you find relaxing and enjoyable,
  • Talk about how you’re feeling and seek guidance if you need too (see list below), and 
  • Listen to your body, mind and instincts… 
  • Prepare for birth and gain tools to guide you through pregnancy. 
    For many reasons, these things may sound wishy-washy, and with such a busy lifestyle they may seem impossible, you may even find some of these things difficult for deeper reasons but please hear me when I say – when you are pregnant, no-one else matters more, than you.
     
• Reduces the risk of Postpartum Depression (PPD): Taking care of your mental health both before and during pregnancy can reduce the risk of developing postpartum depression. Research suggests**  that there are a number of key factors that can increase the risk of developing PDP. 
  • Addressing deep rooted issues and nurturing your mental and emotional balance can improve your state of mind, and give you a nudge in the right direction post birth. (Note – trigger warning within the research, contains abuse and prior birth trauma references).
     
• Your bond with your baby, strengthens: Whilst your love for your baby is growing as quickly as they do, scientifically speaking if you feel stressed, anxious or are depressed whilst pregnant your chances of developing a hormone imbalance are higher, which can hinder the production of Oxytocin (the love hormone). This beautiful hormone is beneficial in pregnancy, and also very much needed to allow and encourage a productive labour process. Oxytocin is the hormone that forms the bond between mum, partner and baby, (it also gets your milk flowing!) Following all the advice above can really help clear the way of Oxytocin to flow. 

If you need help... 

If you are suffering with depression or anxiety or struggling with your mental health whilst pregnant, or if you are triggered by any of the above content, here are some links to support networks that could help you: 

• Hub of hope
• Home Start 
• Mind - perinatal depression
• The Pelvic Partnership (Chronic pelvic pain in pregnancy is not normal and can have a severe impact on your mental health). 
• NHS – for information on antenatal depression.

Please also save these links your antenatal mental health care:

• Tommy's
• Mind
• Home Start

References 

* https://www.child-encyclopedia.com/stress-and-pregnancy-prenatal-and-perinatal/according-experts/effects-prenatal-stress-child

** https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519070/

(Please note, the research referenced are articles which contains relevant evidence that support the general theories within this article. The research has not been thoroughly researched by me. Should you read this article and feel it is untruthful or have countering evidence, please do get in contact, I welcome as much information as possible to improve the guidance I offer).